A helpful poster on reddit has written an explanation on how to deal with the Wii U's somewhat non-intuitive system for adding friends. In short, if you register a friend to your friends list, they will not be notified; Nintendo's assumption is that this is someone you've arranged to be friends with and that you will add each other.
If that's not the case, you need to go to the Miiverse, search for the profile of the person you want to befriend through the user menu and send them a friend request from there.
I can actually understand why this makes sense to Nintendo - the friend list is an updated version of the Wii friending system while the Miiverse is used for a more Facebookish experience - but ideally software should do what people intuitively expect it to do, so I hope Nintendo revises this system.

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